This post was featured on BlogHer! You can see that version here.
I am not Super Mom.
I tried to be, believe me. It seems like these days when you leave the hospital with your new little bundle of joy, you also get a cape packed in with the coupons for diapers and formula.
“Congratulations, Mom! Good luck trying to be and do everything!”
I had visions of being that mom – the one that bakes fresh cookies for after school snacks, the one who “whips up” a costume, just because her child wanted to be Batman that day. The one that could cook Chicken Francese while entertaining the baby and helping her older girls with their homework – all at the same time.
It was pretty easy at first. My first daughter was a good baby – a good sleeper, good eater – we were very lucky. I kept up with the house and even started working from home. Then I got pregnant again when she was 8 months old and that’s when I started to feel things unravel.
By the time I was ready to deliver my second daughter, I already felt like I couldn’t give 100% to my job or my kid…and it just went downhill from there.
Flash-forward to today, and I have THREE kids plus a business to run. My super mom cape is buried somewhere under the pile of toys and old mail that currently resides on my dining room table.
I can’t even pretend to have it all together. I just about make it out the house every day with my contacts in and my hair brushed; gone are the days of full make-up for preschool drop offs!
As my business has become busier (thank you, God!), my house has become messier. The laundry is starting to creep across the floor, and the dust bunnies have grown up into dust rabbits with little dust bunny families.
I had a hard time giving up my cape at first. I wanted to be able to do it all. But I mostly just made myself (and my family) crazy, and things were still a mess.
So now that I’m just a mere mortal, I understand my limitations.
My house will never be Martha Stewart ready.
My kids will watch a bit too much TV on some days when I’m busy packing orders.
The laundry will always be one step away from smothering me in my sleep.
But overall, life is good. I’m home every day with my kids, and I get to be my own boss! I cook home meals almost every night, and my kids get to enjoy dance classes and soccer games because of my business.
Hmmm…maybe I should hold onto that super mom cape after all…
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21 Comments
I’ve reached the point where I figure as long as everyone’s mostly healthy and the county can’t condemn my house, I’m good!
Some days it’s all about the little things… LOL
Exactly! I’m all about “good enough” nowadays.
This is so true! I haven’t quite buried my cape. Luckily, I just have one child. I am juggling two jobs, her and trying to get back into my career. I appreciate this because it shows success can still happen. Thanks for the laughs and reality check!
Wow, two jobs! You definitely need a cape!
Being a mom is hard, no matter how many kids are in the mix. Best of luck to you with your career goals!
Sometimes we do just need to be okay with what we’re doing–I say that is Super Mom enough! Strong work!
Great post! Came over from TheSitsGirls!
Thanks!
It’s a good thing I like bunnies! I have a similar chaotic life, but I started out messy and have slowly managed to work things the other way. Basically, if I can’t see the dust bunny (or it’s million relations) then I’m happy that I haven’t completely let the side down. And as for the washing still on the line in the rain… I believe it’s considered to be ‘in the rinse cycle’.
That’s great, I hope to get to that place too someday. I’m not expecting the world, just a general sense of things being in the right place, you know?
Oh, this image of SuperMom is fantastic. What a sense of humor you have! Fantastic!
I just spoke to my friend about this last week. When our children are home for Summer somehow we think we are supposed to be cruise directors. No no no no we don’t have to be cruise directors.
We help our children MORE by NOT insisting on being Supermom, says she who took a heckuva lot of time to figure that out!
Yes! I get a lot of comments about how my kids can keep themselves busy. I’m pretty sure it’s because I do allow them time to entertain themselves…I just can’t plan out activities for every minute of the day!
I don’t think I’ve ever “had it all together”. I agree with the others: as long as my kids are fed, clothed, healthy, and haven’t caused bodily harm to each other by the end of the day, we’re good.
I agree, Shannon. I’d rather have fun with the kids then spend my time polishing the windows.
clean houses are over rated.
Amen!
I just don’t over amp,,,I know it will be there tomorrow!!
But I used to amp out bad, as I call it. When I was a single mom with 2 kids, juggling 2 jobs, mowing the lawn, washing and waxing the car, walking 4 miles a day, dusting every weekend, and I mean dusting and polishing everything. Now I look back, now that both my kids are grown, and wish I had spent more time taking them to the park, hey it’s free. But trying so hard to make ends meet, and be the ‘man’ and the ‘woman’ of the house, I thought it all had to be done, perfectly. Then came the grandchildren, how much I had grown, I read her books, put puzzles together (she loved that), colored in coloring books and kept all her little ‘love grandma’ scribbles. My, all that seemed so important when I was such a young mother, now a middle aged grandma of 5 beautiful grandchildren, I know what is important and what is not anymore. That is why I made the comment,,,,It will be there tomorrow, and it will be okay to wait. I like to do the things now that bring me joy,,,the other can wait,,it will be there tomorrow!
Yes, I totally agree! I can imagine as a single parent how you felt you must do everything. It is so hard with a partner, I give you major kudos for doing it on your own!
I love your blog and can seriously identify. I have just gone out on my own, and am trying to juggle everythin too. I just hope I don’t end up as a jack of all trades, master of none!
http://lesley-justsaying.blogspot.com/
Thank you, Lesley. Best of luck to you!
My twins are 16 months old and I’m STILL having a hard time giving up the cape. I’m a perfectionist by nature, so it’s especially hard for me not to have everything “just so.” Thank goodness for an understanding husband who is ok with the imperfect!
My husband is my biggest champion and a great partner. I know I couldn’t run the business if he wasn’t so understanding and patient! Yay for great hubbies!